Attraction and Breakup

In movies, we see people falling in love at first sight, and most people believe that it can also happen in real life. I beg to differ. What happens in real life is attraction at first sight, and we must know the difference because not doing so can be catastrophic. If we fell in love with people only because of their looks, we would easily fall in love with every attractive person we see, and we would be bound to get into a relationship with someone who has a toxic personality. Trust me, it's easier to be attractive than it is to be a good person. That's why we must always try to distinguish between love and attraction.

I know it's not very easy sometimes because our brain connects some physical traits with personality traits, especially when a person reminds you of someone you know or used to know. It's also fairly common to see a person who looks very attractive and ignore everything else about them, as if their looks will compensate for any bad qualities, but it's almost never worth it. I mean, if you only want to have sex with that person and go away forever, then their personality is negligible. But if you want to have something more serious and be with that person for a long time, you must be more careful about who you are choosing to be with. For a long relationship, it's better to pick a less attractive yet reliable person than someone attractive who will turn your life upside down. I talked a little about this in my text called "Pretty Ego".

Another thing to consider is the breakup; the more you love a person, the worse the breakup will be. People say that you must always love yourself more than anyone else, but I don't quite agree with that phrase. To love yourself more than the person you're with is the worst kind of selfishness; true love is when you put the other person above yourself. The key, in my opinion, is reciprocity. This means that when a person loves you and puts you above all else, you should do the same for them. But when you realize that the other person doesn't love you anymore, or perhaps never loved you at all, then you should put yourself back in first place and become your own priority once again.

I don't want to sound sexist, but I believe that breakups are harder for men than they are for women. This is because women are often able to find someone else in the blink of an eye, and as soon as they get into another relationship, they completely forget about their ex. But for men, that's not how it works. After a breakup, we often stay alone for a long time, sometimes for months or years. And even if we find someone else and start a new relationship, every now and then we remember the person who used to be special to us. Men never really move on from a relationship; on our deathbeds, we will remember that first love as if it were yesterday.

But regardless of whether you are a man or a woman, it's okay to miss someone. This feeling is what makes us human. The important thing is that we can't allow this feeling to prevent us from living in the present and building a future for ourselves. And we must understand that we don't miss the person; we actually miss the way that person made us feel and that there are many people out there who can make us feel that way again.